Reclaiming HER: The Controlled Burn
In this episode, Robrenna talks about the metaphor of a controlled burn and the creation of RHR Media Co. She discusses what it clarified, what it cost, and what it created. This is a conversation about reclaiming your agency, protecting your story, and understanding that sometimes the most healing thing you can do is let something burn, with intention, clarity, and on your own terms.
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This transcript was generated and has been edited for clarity. Reclaiming HER: The Controlled Burn Episode Transcript.
Robrenna: Welcome, reclaiming women to the Reclaiming Her Resilience podcast. I am your Narrative Focus Trauma Care certified Story Coach, your somatic attachment coach, and your host, and your fellow Sojourner. And I'm Robrenna Parker. If you are a regular listener, like Helen.
Hi Helen! Glad you're back. And if you're new, welcome. Thank you all for joining me today. I wanted to share a little of my journey with you to, of these past three, four months, maybe. As usual, take what resonates and leave the rest, or we're gonna get started. Well, I'm gonna start by kind of talking about something that usually happens around here, around this time of year, March through April. I'm gonna weave parts of my story into this because I found it fitting. just something I could really relate to. So for those of you who live around here the horizon, sometimes you may see this orange glow coming from the, the sand hills in Nebraska or the Flint Hills in Kansas, you may have seen it further away, and it may look smoky, lower in the sky, almost like a fog, the air is thick with scent of earthy wood smoke.
Now, to a stranger or someone who hasn't seen this before, it could look like chaos or a disaster, but that's only the surface. There's a purpose here in the Great Plains, and I've also seen it in other locations. California, for instance. We don't burn the prairie because we want to destroy it. We burn it because the thatch is dead. Dry grass from seasons past has become so thick that new growth can't reach the sun. There also may be an encroachment that has begun to shade what was meant to thrive. The prayer is not being destroyed. It's being stewarded by the land manager who waits for the right conditions, the right wind, the right humidity, the right moment, and then deliberately strikes the match or lights the torch.
It's known as a prescribed or controlled burn. Recently, I had to make a decision to strike a match in my professional life. I was in a place where, or an environment where I thought I had a sense of belonging, shared values. There was a referral stream and a collaborative platform. For an ecosystem to be healthy, the vision needs to be mutual. The soil has to be porous, and it has to be able to absorb empathy and feedback. When the ground of the collaboration turns unyielding, no matter how much care you put into it, nothing can take root anymore.
I realized the soil had shifted to the tallest tree, and I became part of the undergrowth. A controlled burn was necessary to clear space for the soil. That actually nourished me. soil that was [rooted, honest, and real.
Now you can tell when a field is ready to burn by how much dead fuel has piled up. Well, I saw the signs and quietly decided to take the controlled burn I could manage instead of waiting for a wildfire. Later, my decision, my quiet decision, was affirmed, so I chose to step away sooner on my terms. This wasn't a simple decision.
It was layered and complex, much like the ending of my marriage a few years earlier. I had to carry the weight of it, leaving me raw, yet wiser, and this was the reclaiming HER in, reclaiming her resilience after a prescribed burn. Once the debris is
cleared, a dark covering on the ground known as the black body remains, it can absorb sunlight. store, heat, and accelerate new growth. Now, when I read this, I knew this metaphor fit my experience of being appreciated for what I represented rather than for all that I brought to the table. What happens next after the burn, after the black body remains, it's called the green-up nitrogen and phosphorus spikes in the soil, so that fuels new life and causes more diverse plant growth.
The movement from dependency to maturity is a success in ecology. I'd say humans, too. I was able to grow something new as a pioneer species that grows in harsh environments. I began realizing I'm my own ecosystem. What arose from under the ash is RHR Media Co. The publishing arm of reclaiming her resilience.
The fire was the catalyst. I didn't create RHR media CO because I needed more to do. Believe me, I have plenty. I created it because I realized that my voice was too valuable to be filtered through someone else's lens. The burn forced me to [00:07:00] build a fortress for my own truth, my own voice, and my integrity.
Finally, I had to protect HER in reclaiming her resilience. The her is the most important part.
I realized I couldn't reclaim her. Me if I was still paying rent to a system that didn't value her, RHR Media Co. Now I own the land. I'm building a structure to house a truly collaborative and inclusive table.
Is there beauty in the struggle? There is. Has the transition been hard? Yes. That's why these final episodes have been unplugged,
but it's that kind of hard that comes with something or knowing that you're building something you own. The same way a gardener hands get soar because they finally own their own plot of land.
The RHR Media Co logo is inspired by the fiddlehead fern. It thrives in disturbed soil. It's one of the first signs of life after harsh conditions; in indigenous and food-foraging communities, it signals the end of famine or winter. The Botanical Society of America describes it as a Circinate Vernation. , which means the leaves or fronds of the fern are tightly coiled from the tip downward.
Creating a circular shape as it grows, the leaves emerge and unfurl slowly, bit by bit, onto the coil. Is fully unfurled. The Fiddlehead acts as a protective mechanism for the tender growing tip against the early spring frost. That's why it stays coiled. When the conditions are right, it begins to unfurl.
My logo isn't a literal fern. Instead, it's a green spiral with a marigold sun in the center, representing life, womb-like protection, and light. That emerges from New Beginnings.
The logo was created by Mari Crisler Design. The logo is gonna be up on my socials. I'd love for you to comment and let me know what you think.
One last thing. I wrestled during this time. I had multiple complexities and challenges happening in my life at the same time, and I wondered, God, where are you? Do you see me? Do you see what's happening here? Do you even love me?
I didn't hear an answer for a while. I continue to trudge through.
I continue to have creativity. I continue to work. one day as I was sitting down to dinner alone, I sensed a yes.
I do love you. The only way I could get you to see for yourself is to make sure you were already down on your knees. You see, I know you. You like to give the benefit of the doubt. You like to give second chances, but the work I have for you is not there anymore.
I need you to be free to do what I have for you to do. You may not know that reclaiming her resilience, the name is inspired by a scripture verse, Joel 2 25. I throw in 26.
I will repay you for the years the locust has eaten. The great locust and the young locust. And the other locust. And the locust swarm. My great army that I sent among you, you will. Have plenty to eat until you are full and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you and never again will my people be shamed.
That is where reclaiming her resilience comes from. Resilience for me is not about enduring, it's about getting right back up. Even if you have to do it slowly. Taking the posture, if not the body, of uprightness.
This is the end of season two. I'd love to hear what you'd like, the topics you'd like, or guests that you'd like for season three, and I'll do my best to make it happen. Send me an email at Hello@reclaimingherresilience.com. I'll be on a sabbatical, and in the meantime, I'm also building something exciting that I'll be sharing with you during season three.
But before I go quiet for a while, I wanted to leave something with you. It is the Unfurl, a free guided meditation that I created for you. The woman who has been holding herself tightly for so long that she's almost forgotten what it feels like to open. It moves through both body and story, and it asks you to notice what's been coiled, what's been protected, and what might be ready slowly.
On your own terms, to begin to open the fiddlehead Fern doesn't unfurl all at once. Neither do we. You can find the link to the unfurl guided meditation in the show notes. This is my gift to you from RHR Media Co as season two closes. Thank you for sticking with me. You have been my inspiration.
Carry this meditation, carry this message, and maybe messages from previous podcast episodes with you into whatever season holds this season holds for you.
I'll be back after the rest and until then. You rest, witness yourself, and know that your story is still becoming.
With love and solidarity. Robrenna, founder of Reclaiming Her Resilience and RHR Media Co.
You can find the link to the unfurl guided meditation in the show notes.
If something you heard today stirred recognition or softened something within you, allow yourself a moment to pause and breathe. Reclaiming HER Resilience is executive produced and edited by me, Robrenna Parker. If this podcast encourages you, I invite you to follow, subscribe, or leave a review.
This podcast is published by RHR Media Co. Where voice is honored, and the story unfolds. RHR Media Co is the publishing and media arm of Reclaiming HER Resilience, LLC, creating story-centered media that honors voice, restores agency, and invites women back into authorship of their own lives. Your story matters, and you're not alone, and it deserves to be held with care, consent, and choice until we meet again.
Take gentle care.
